News in Brief

From The Onion: Noisy Upstairs Neighbors Wake Man At 3 P.M. SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA—The inconsiderate residents of the apartment above Jim Bracker, 23, woke him from a sound slumber several minutes before 3 p.m. Monday. “Christ, quit with the…

Read More

News in Breif

From The Onion: 7-Year-Old Loses Respect For Shrek After Seeing Him In Burger King Commercial KANSAS CITY, MO—Cale Parnell, 7, said Monday that he no longer holds Shrek in high regard, ever since the green ogre started appearing in TV…

Read More