From The Onion: Dollar Losing Value Against The Quarter NEW YORK—After falling 6 percent in the past three weeks, the U.S. dollar hit a 208-year low against the U.S. quarter, which had been valued at exactly 0.25 dollars since its…
April Fool’s
It’s April Fool’s day. Here are a few ideas for childish pranks you can pull: 1- Most kitchen sinks have a seperate hose deal for spraying. It’s usually black. Put electrical tape around it so that the handle is held…
News in Brief
From The Onion Scientist Has Nagging Feeling He Left Particle Accelerator On CHICAGO—University of Chicago particle physicist Matthew Sharp drove halfway home before he was struck with the fear that he’d left the Argonne Tandem Linac Accelerator System running Tuesday…
Highly Paid Slackers
From Vox Popoli: A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses…
News in Brief
From The Onion: Teen Learns The Negligible Value Of A Dollar ASHLAND, WI—After earning $5 for mowing his family’s half-acre lawn, 13-year-old Andrew Mink learned the negligible value of a dollar at the town’s sporting-goods store Sunday. “Pops dropped me…
News In Brief
From The Onion: Leftover Christmas Billboard Stirs Seasonally Inappropriate Emotion ST. LOUIS—Local architect Steve Burillo felt a momentary flush of seasonally incongruous holiday spirit Tuesday when he saw a Christmas-themed billboard on South Broadway. “The sign was advertising the St.…
Spain’s New Currency
With the new governement in Spain comes new currency:
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Hillary For VP?
From last Friday’s Letterman Top 10: Top Ten Signs Hillary Clinton Wants To Be Vice President 10. The Washington, D.C. TJ Maxx has sold out of pantsuits. 9. She’s practicing sitting around doing nothing. 8. Instead of pretending to be…